The Challenge of a Man's Legacy
LUKE 14:26

The great challenge for most men is to become the sacrificial lovers and servant-leaders of their families.

Years ago I knew of a Pastor who spent years building an effective ministry. On the surface, it appeared that this Pastor's ministry was overwhelmingly successful. Unfortunately, this Pastor sought to "win the world" and neglected his wife and family. This man was broken and torn. He loved his wife and truly looked forward to being a father to his children. But he carried a great weight of responsibility, and he had been caught up long ago in what I have heard describe as "the evangelical syndrome" - the misconception that a man can serve God to the fullest only if he is willing to put ministry before family. How many times I heard great men quote (Luke 14:26), - If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children . . . he cannot be my disciple. This Pastor understood that Scripture to mean that he was obliged to put his ministry and the needs of the world before his own family. He used to say, I've made an agreement with God that I'll take care of His helpless little lambs if He'll take care of mine at home. It surely sounded sensible enough, and this Pastor sincerely believed it was right. Unfortunately, future events would prove that this was this Pastor's agreement, not God's.
Years later, that Pastor's family was shredded by a horrible divorce and caused great hurt and pain in his is family, church and throughout the community. His family felt abandoned by him as the spiritual leader of the household who had apparently lost sight of God's will for his life: to sacrificially serve, love, and lead his wife and family.
Today, this man's legacy is tarnished by his failure at home. The great challenge and the big question for you and I, is what will our legacy be?
Will you live for the next generation by becoming the sacrificial lover and the servant-leader of your family? If that is your desire, here are a few ways you can leave a Godly legacy for your family.
Fulfill the covenant you made.
Because the body of Christ has given up much of its influence over the family, divorce has become very common in many congregations around the world today. As a result of this many nations around the glob suffer from a "culture of divorce." Your family will never be stronger than the covenant that has established it. Your marriage covenant is what sets your relationship with your wife and children apart from the 6 billion people on the earth today. It provides the safety and security for us to establish a family unit.

Pray daily with your wife.
Early in our marriage, my wife, Joyce, and I started the habit of praying together in the morning and before we would go to sleep. If there is one simple ritual I would urge couples to begin adopting in their marriages, it is this one-the habit of praying together every day. You will be able to see the hand of God move in a mighty way.
For Joyce and I, this habit of acknowledging the Lord's presence in our lives and our marriage has, I believe, saved us from many fiery darts of the enemy. Praying daily for each other keeps us from building walls between one another. And it builds bridges across canyons that may have widened between us during the course of our day.
Embrace each other in hard times.
For many years our daughter Jamie suffered from a condition called Pot's Syndrome that sometimes took her heart rate to over 300 beats per minute. It appeared that her heart would beat so hard that it would come right out of her chest and she even past-out on a few different occasions. In addition, we've experienced various difficulties in raising our three children. There have been times in our marriage when all we had was our faith and commitment to the Lord Jesus and to one another.
That's why it's so important that a husband and wife "bear one another's burdens." We must be standing together looking to God, His Word and the great Holy Spirit to sustain and guide us. Joyce and I have learned that instead of blaming each other for what we are facing to embrace one another in Christ Jesus in hard times and that He causes us to over- come them.
Keeping the romance in your marriage.
Nowhere in the marriage covenant are the differences between men and women ANY more evident than when it comes to romance. Women generally spell romance, "conversation, relationship and security" Men spell it a different way, "touch, feel and Sex." A man's focus is physical and a woman's focus is relational. That's why we as men need to learn how to communicate with our wives in a language that communicates love, understanding and respect to them.
So what would communicate love to your wife? How about a love letter? Then write one. A hug and a kiss that says I love you and doesn't have to end up in the bedroom? Or helping her at home with the children and household duties? One thing is certain here and that is romance needs to be cultivated if it is going to grow in marriage. And men it is our place to keep the romance alive and burning in our marriages. I can't express this enough, that the depth of your relationship with Jesus will determine the depth of your relationship with your wife.

The power of words.
(Proverbs 18:21) warns us that, - Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (James 3:8) tells us that, - But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. Remember that words only do one of two things. They either build up or tear down. So my question to you is, do you build your wife up or tear her down with the words that you speak over her life?
Do you praise her for all that she does and for all that she is or do you find faults and point out all of her shortcomings? Are you abusing your wife with your words or are you ministering forgiveness, grace, and mercy in speaking to her? Speak life to your wife and it will destroy all strife. Speak words that will build-up your wife up and minister the Word of God to her. It will cause her to rise up by your side as a man of God.
Learn what the need's are that your wife has.
Now first things first, I've got an assignment for you. When you go home, take your wife out for a walk or out on a date. I want to encourage you to ask these questions to your wife and step back and as you hear her voice her thoughts and concerns.
" What can I do to help you feel more loved, honored, and cherished?
" What can I do to illustrate the fact that I respect you, your ideas, and your role as my wife?
" What can I do to assure you that I hear and understand your heart's desires?
" What can I do to ensure that you have confidence and joy in our future direction?
" What attribute or practice would you like to see me improve or develop?
" What attribute would you most like to develop in yourself?
" What would indicate to you my desire to be more like Christ?
" What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish together?
My friends please takes notes as your wife talks, then write out what you hear her voice then take them and pray over them and ask God to help you full-fill them. I can promise you this, that as you begin to put this into practice that your wife will feel loved and cared for. As you begin to minister to her needs you will find that she will fall in love with you all over again.
Be the first one to resolve conflicts.
There's a reason why the Word of God encourages us in, (Ephesians 4:26) - Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. God knows that if we allow issues to remain unresolved in our marriages, then that gives the enemy the opportunity to bring division between us and our wife's. Men, we have to make a great stand here and be strong in the Lord and stand in the power of His might. And be ready to resolve conflicts quickly by ministering the wisdom of God's Word to our wife's and families.

So the question that I have hear is, is there any unresolved conflicts in your marriage right now? Are you harboring any strife, un-forgiveness or bitterness towards your wife? Take the initiative to resolve these issues in a way that will bring honor Jesus and to who Jesus is in your marriage.
Be a good shepherd.
(Psalm 78:72) says, - So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, And guided them with his skillful hands.
A good shepherd is one who has Godly character and integrity of heart. Are you a man of Godly character and integrity? Do you do what you say you're going to do? Are you the same man in public that you are in private? Do your children run and hide when you get home or do they greet you with a warm hug? Please take a good look at yourself here and judge your own actions and your own heart.
A good shepherd is also one who has skillful hands and he knows the sheep and their needs. A good shepherd knows his sheep and he doesn't lead any faster than they can follow.
Another responsibility for a shepherd is to protect his sheep from predators. In the same way, we need to protect our families today. For example, guard your children from the major negative influencers in their lives, like the media and their peers. Know what they are watching (pornography on the internet? Movies full of sex and violence?) And who they are spending time with. As (I Corinthians 15:33) says, - Bad company corrupts good morals. Show your children who much you care about them by being a part of who they are.
Maintain a healthy relationship with your children.
Having rules in your household without relationships makes our children angry. That's why the Word of God encourages fathers in (Ephesians 6:4), - And, fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
If our children are going to receive discipline and instruction, then we need to build and maintain a healthy relationship with them. That means you most spend time communicating with them. One very important aspect here is that you can not become their best friend. This is a mistake a lot of parents make in their relationship with their children and remember they have feeling too.

Praying God's perfect will over your children.
Our assignment as parents is to impart, not just our knowledge of God, but to help give our children a vision for their world. We do this by praying for our children. Pray that God's destiny and plan for their lives will be fulfilled in them.
Give them a vision for the world by making them a part of the family and a part of your ministry. Share stories of how God is at work when you come home to your family. Take them with you on trips and give them a responsibility in them home and in your ministry.
You and I are a part of a generational relay race and we must make a good handoff to the next generation. That's the seed of our generation we're speaking about.
(Psalm 112:1-3) declares, - Praise the Lord! How blessed is the man who fears the Lord. Who greatly delights in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever.
Remember men, your relationship with Jesus, marriage and your family, are the head-waters of your legacy. Your legacy always begins at home. What occurs downstream in your ministry will only be as deep as the strength and source of your home. And Jesus should be strength and the source of your family. Your relationship with Jesus determines your relationship with your wife and with your family. The challenge my brothers, of your legacy is what you make of it. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and to guide you into becoming a great spiritual leader that leaves a great legacy behind for his family and others to follow. Step up and become the man God created you to be.

CATCH THE VISION
Our mission at Agape Life Family Church is to take back the family, evangelize the lost and awaken the saved so they can live empowered lives by the Word of God and through the power of the great Holy Spirit. At Agape Life Family Church we're making a difference for the Kingdom of God by preaching, teaching and training believers how to study and grab hold of God's Word, and how to walk by faith and not by sight. ALFC we're more than a church, we're family.